Saturday, October 3, 2015

Jade and Pete

Jade was particularly excited for camp this year. The social drama was going to prove to be exceptionally delightful judging by those who were going. Camp drama was always special. It was both fleeting and intense, which made it something to look forward to every year, but this year would be different. Not only was her boyfriend Hank going, but so were the high school gossips—Brittany and Heather. The only person not going was her best friend Pete, about which she was madly disappointed.

Pete and Jade had known each other since they were in Kindergarten. They were instant friends and were often noted as the “old married couple” despite never having dated. They were always together, rarely fought, and were quite protective of each other. Jade remembered the time that six year old Pete had to go to the hospital after breaking his leg on the jungle gym at the park. Despite being terrified of the hospital, she insisted that she go along to make sure that he was OK. The hospital staff was amused as Jade took on the role of the sassy caretaker and demanded that Pete get Elmo or Cookie Monster band aids for his scratches since they were his favorite. She wouldn’t stop bothering the nurses until she got what she wanted. One nurse was so touched by her protectiveness that she went out on her break and got the band aids. Jade was only satisfied though once she saw Pete’s toothy smile.

Things were pretty status quo for the duo up until high school. They were interested in all of the same stuff—dinosaurs and reptiles; fishing and catching frogs; riding bikes and playing capture the flag.  They were always around each other. Even when Pete joined the middle school football team, Jade wanted to join too. When she was told she couldn’t, she still showed up to every game to watch him play. Pete joined the theater crew when Jade went out for the middle school musical even though he hated theater. That was just the way they were.

As they entered high school, though, Pete’s parents decided to send him to a different school so he could show off his football talent in a higher division. At first Jade admittedly felt lost without his presence. However, after a while, she found Hank. Hank definitely was not a replacement for Pete, whom she would still see every day after school since he lived a short bike ride away. He just amused her in a way that most of her other peers did not. It wasn’t the same type of amusement, though. With Pete, they would always experience things together. With Hank, she always felt like she was watching an animal do something that made her curious. She always felt disconnected from him in a way.

Regardless they started dating. When she first told Pete about it, she thought she detected a hint of jealousy across his mild-mannered face, but it flashed by so quickly that she convinced herself she was just seeing things. About a week later, he told her that he too was starting to date someone named Michelle. She was glaringly jealous, although she tried not to let it show. That was the first time she realized that perhaps she was in love with Pete.

 As Jade finished packing her bag for camp, she heard the doorbell ring. As her mother answered the door, she could hear some muffled voices and then heavy feet bounding up the steps. Pete walked in.

“Hey! Are you almost done? We gotta get goin’!”

“Goin’ where? I’m about to go to camp.”

“I know! Didn’t your mom tell you? I signed up at the last minute! My mom was able to talk the camp counsellor into letting me go since apparently there wasn’t any more space.”

“Oh! That’s great! I had no idea!” Jade’s heart leapt. She was ecstatic. This would be the best summer camp yet.

“Yea. Plus, Michelle’s gonna be there. I can’t wait.” Jade’s heart sank. For the first time, Pete wasn’t going something because Jade was going. He was going something because someone else was. She became furious.

“Yea, well, Hank’s going to be there too. I’m super exci—“

“Yea, well, let’s get going. I wouldn’t want you to be late for your week long rendezvous.” Pete turned his back and quickly left her room. Realizing in that moment that she hadn’t imagined Pete’s jealousy, she sat on the edge of her bed and took a deep breath.

“Why did I have to bring up Hank? This is going to be an awkward week.” Jade continued to imagine the awkward scenarios and run-ins that would inevitably occur over the next week. Before getting too wrapped up in her imagination, she got up, grabbed her bag, and headed downstairs. As she put her bag down in the hallway, she heard her mother lecturing Pete on ticks.

“Don’t forget the tick spray and make sure Jade puts some on. She always says she does, but—“

“Mom, I’ll put the tick spray on, just leave Pete alone. It’s time to go anyway.”

Pete looked over at Jade and she noticed his sad eyes. She immediately felt awful for the exchange upstairs. As Pete started heading for the front door, Jade followed him and tugged on his arm.

“Hey, I’m sorry for upstairs. I didn’t mean to rub Hank in your face like that. To be honest, I didn’t really think it bothered you that much.”

“It doesn’t,” he responded gruffly.

“Are you sure? Because it sounds like it’s getting to you.”

“I don’t even know the guy. I’ve met him, what? Once? I’m sure he’s great and clearly he makes you happy, so, what’s there to be upset about?”

“No, you idiot. You make me happy.” Jade listened to her thoughts before pressing on.

“Ok, then, I guess we’re good, right?”

“Yep, great.”

Jade knew he wasn’t great or good or any semblance thereof. She couldn’t argue with him, though. Who was she to tell him how he felt? She decided to just let it go.

Pete and Jade put their bags in the truck of Jade’s mom’s car and off they went. They barely spoke all two hours to the campground, which Jade’s mom noted a few times was quite odd.

Upon reaching the campground, they noticed that they were one of the last to arrive. As Pete got out of the car, Jade could hear little footsteps running toward the car.

“Baby!!! I thought you’d never get here!” A typical cheerleader type, Michelle had long strawberry blonde hair and had her make-up perfectly done. Her body was athletic, making her look more like a volleyball player than a cheerleader. She was beautiful in the way that most high school girls aspired to be—flat stomach, large chest, pretty face, blonde hair in perfect French braids with just a little strand of hair coming down in the front as if to say, “See?! I’m not a flawless doll! I can have fun and be messy, too!”

Jade was overcome with jealousy and anger as she reminded herself that she had almost none of these attributes. Until high school, Jade was the visibly nerdy type. She had a gap in her front teeth, messy and frizzy dark brown hair, and while she was always really thin, she had a somewhat bloated stomach that she liked to hide in sweatshirts. Now the gap in her teeth was gone and she managed her hair slightly better, but she still was disgustingly thin. She never got into make-up because she didn’t see the point. She thought her face was pretty enough and she didn’t feel like being made fun of in case she did it all wrong. In the end, it just didn’t seem authentic to her. In this moment, though it didn’t stop her from being overly critical of the way she looked.

“Why can’t my eyes pop like that? How does she even get her chest that perky? No wonder Pete’s dating her. She’s basically a high school model.

Pete kissed her, and as he did, Jade turned around and grabbed her bag out of the trunk before he could grab his. He noticed she was having some difficulty and went over to help her.

“I’ve got it.”

“Let me help you.”

“I said no! I’ve got it!” Jade was surprised at the angry tone that flew out of her mouth. Pete’s eyes widened as they both stood stunned.

“You must be Jade! I’ve heard so much about you! It’s so nice to meet you!” Michelle had that sugary sweet high voice that was analogous to a lollipop laced with venom. Jade knew right away that Michelle was going to be the type that would be threatened by her presence.

“Yep. Nice to meet you too. Well, I’m gonna go find out where my bunk is. See ya.” Jade slammed the trunk shut before Pete could get his bag. Before he could say anything, she stormed off with her bag in search of the registration table.

“This may be the worst camp ever.” Jade was running through all of the scenarios in her head again. None of them had included that little run-in with Michelle. She knew things could only get worse.

“Jade! Hey! Babe!” Jade looked up and saw Hank waving his arms at her. She was not amused. She looked back at the ground and kept walking. She heard him running towards her.

“Hey, didn’t you see me? I was waving to you. The registration table is over there. I’ll walk with you. I missed you.”

Jade didn’t know what to say at that moment. She hadn’t really missed Hank. They had only been out of school for two weeks and admittedly she was happy having not seen him but once during that time. Pete had taken up her time as they had gone fishing already and had gone to the community pool.

“Missed you too. Where you stayin’?” Jade forced out a sense of caring.

“Oh, I’m staying in the McNulty cabin. I saw Pete’s name on the registration list. I didn’t know he was coming! You excited?” Jade winced at Pete’s name.

“Ecstatic.” They were at the registration table. She put on a fake smile and went through all of the niceties and introductions as she received her dorm assignment. She recognized a couple of the counsellors from previous years.

“Oh, it looks like you are staying in the Turner cabin! Now, Jade, that’s a co-ed cabin. If you aren’t comfortable with that, we can switch you. However, we’ve carefully selected who to put in there and I don’t think it’s anyone that you don’t know. There will also be two counsellors staying in there with you.”

“Great. Adult supervision. At camp. Can’t wait.”

“Nope. Should be fine. Thanks!” Jade grabbed her registration and packet and went on her way.

“Co-ed, huh? Too bad I’m not in there. We could’ve snuggled up…” Hank gave her a suggestive smile. Jade wasn’t a prude, but she certainly wasn’t about to do much “snuggling” with Hank, boyfriend or not.

“Ah, well. I’m sure we’ll be spending a lot of time together regardless. I’m going to go unpack. I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Oh, I guess—“ Jade was already walking away as Hank was finishing his sentence. She didn’t really care to hear it. He didn’t make for great conversation, anyway.

She entered the cabin and saw that there were only two beds left at the end of the cabin. She put her bag down on one and sat down to collect her thoughts.

“I wonder who else is in here. Thank God Hank isn’t. I don’t think I could handle it. I wonder if…” At that moment, Brittany and Heather walked in. They were the biggest class gossips at her high school. They were also the most popular and Jade never spoke to them except at camp. Their parents still sent them as a way to remind them that life isn’t always about cell phones and expensive cars. They came because they knew that their parents would buy them something expensive afterwards as a reward for their participation.

“Oh, Jade! I haven’t seen you in forever! I can’t believe we are all staying in the co-ed dorm! How exciting! I wonder if any of the guys will be hot.” Jade could see Brittany’s gossip wheel turning.

“I have no idea. I don’t know who else is staying in here other than us.” Heather looked clearly disgruntled at this news while Brittany looked curious.

“I’m going to go around and ask!”

“Or we could just flirt with that cute counsellor and see if he will tell us?”

“Or you could just wait and find out tonight at dinner since we all are sitting with our cabins anyway.”

Heather and Brittany looked at Jade. They were clearly annoyed with her suggestion.

“Let’s go flirt with the counsellor.” After they left, Jade lay down on her bed and enjoyed the brief moment of silence. After a couple of minutes, she sat back up and started to head out to explore the campground and get reacquainted with it.

She remembered some of the great times from the previous years. She had been coming to this camp since she was ten. At sixteen, the campground seemed smaller than she first remembered. The lake seemed more like a small pond. She remembered all of the fun times with the bull rope and the time that one kid almost drowned because he couldn’t swim. She and Pete rose to the occasion and pulled him out of the water. They each got a badge for it and extra s’mores at the campfire that night.

As Jade sat by the water’s edge reminiscing, Michelle came up behind her and sat down. Jade didn’t notice at first until Michelle started to talk.

“Hi, I thought we could try this again.” Jade jumped a little and looked over.

“Try what?”

“Introductions. I’m guessing you were just stressed out about registration or whatever since you seemed upset earlier, so I just wanted to come over and re-introduce myself. I’m Michelle and it’s great to meet you. Pete tells me so many stories about you.”

“I’m sure he does. Look, Michelle, if Pete’s happy, then I’m happy.” Michelle looked at Jade curiously, and then a devious smile came over her.

“So you’ll stay away from him, then?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he’s my boyfriend. He doesn’t belong with you. I want him to start telling stories of me and him. He’s always talking about you. I want him to start talking about me like that.”

Jade felt a wave of mixed emotions come over. She was both surprised and touched that he talked about her so much, but she was hurt at the thought that she would have to stay away from him. She wouldn’t tolerate that.

“I’m not staying away from my best friend just because you feel insecure. That’s your problem.”

Michelle stood up. “You better stay away from him or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Oh, just you wait. I’ll make your life a living hell.” Michelle stormed off. Jade sat by the waterside pleased that she got the best of little-miss-cheerleader.

After a few moments had passed, Jade heard the dinner bell ringing. She stood up and made her way up to the dining hall.

As she entered, she noticed that it was chaos. There were kids of all ages there, ranging from about eight to eighteen. The counsellors were all lined up in the front of the hall. One of them held a microphone.

“Alright, I need everyone to sit down at the table marked with your cabin name.” Jade meandered through the crowd. She found Brittany and Heather and decided to follow them to her table. As she approached the table, she noticed everyone at the table was familiar. They all had attended camp for at least the past three years. There were nine chairs at the table. Three girls were already seated, not included her, and two guys.  The three girls—Brittany, Heather, and Lizzy—were like three peas in a pod. They all gossiped, came from rich backgrounds, and were relatively prissy. The two boys—Kevin and Dustin—were shy and quiet. She remembered that Kevin liked to play video games and Dustin liked to see how many marshmallows he could fit in his mouth. The answer? Too many, in Jade’s opinion. She sat down to the right of Dustin and next to an empty chair.  Shortly thereafter, two other boys came to the table—Tom and Aiden. They were both pretty cool, although, Jade remembered that they could both get a little aggressive.

As Jade looked around the room, she tried to find Hank. She couldn’t see him anywhere. As she was perusing the crowd, she heard the seat next to her pull out. She looked to the right of her and there was Pete. He looked glum and she looked at him surprised.

“I didn’t know you were in the co-ed dorm.”

“Yea. I saw your bag in there. Our beds are next to each other.”

“Great. I’m sure Michelle will be thrilled. What a week this will be.”

“Oh. Does Michelle know?”

“Umm..I don’t know. I didn’t tell her. Didn’t think it was really important. Is it?”

“That’s up to you. Can’t wait until she finds out, though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Your girlfriend threatened to make my life a living hell if I didn’t agree to stay away from you.”

“Michelle wouldn’t do that. Why would you even say that?”

Jade looked at him disapprovingly. “Really? You think I would just make that up?”

“I don’t know what you would do, Jade. You’ve been acting really bizarre since before we left. Every time I mention Michelle you freak out. It’s like you’re jealous or something.”

“I am not jealous!!”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know. I just want to be left alone.”

“Fine.”

Brittany, Heather, and Lizzy looked on at their exchange. Jade noticed them starting to whisper and snicker. Furious, Jade stood up and walked to the bathroom.

“Great. I’ll be the talk of the camp in no time. Living hell indeed.”

Walking back, Jade bumped into Hank. “Hey, babe. I didn’t think I’d see you. There’s so many people! Do you wanna take a walk after dinner?”

Jade thought for a second. “Sure. I think I’d be into that.”

Hank’s face lit up. “Great! I’ll meet you outside after.”

Feeling a little better with something to look forward to, Jade made her way back to her table and sat back down. Pete looked at her briefly and then turned his back to talk to Tom. She didn’t care. He could do whatever he wanted.

After dinner, Jade made her way outside and found Hank. He grabbed her hand and they made their way to the lake. He was quiet the whole way, occasionally looking at her and smiling. She smiled softly back and kept walking. The sun was starting to set, which made a trip to the lake that much more romantic. They stopped as they approached the water.

“The sunset is really gorgeous. Like you, babe.” Jade smiled and could feel her cheeks get warm as she blushed. She was a tom boy in many ways, but when it came to romance she was a sucker. She was easily flattered and she had a hard time hiding it. “This week is going to be great. I’m so happy we are here together.” He kissed her on the cheek. It was a soft kiss and a little sloppy. She turned toward him and leaned in. She kissed him softly. It was awkward. She had never kissed anyone before. Her heart was racing and she could hear that both of them were breathing nervously. As she looked into his eyes, she heard someone clear their throat behind them. She turned around and there were Pete and Michelle staring at them. Pete’s face was red with anger. She had never seen him so angry. Michelle had a devilish smile on her face.

“What are you guys doing?” Pete was talking through his teeth. Jade noticed that the hand that wasn’t holding Michelle’s was clenched into a fist.

Jade looked at him disapprovingly. “Apparently the same thing you guys were going to do.” She nodded toward their hand holding. She could hear Pete breathing heavily.

“What’s wrong, Pete?” Hank was testing the waters. Jade could hear a hint of devious satisfaction in the tone of his voice. She glared at him.

“Look, Hank, I made myself clear to you earlier that I don’t like you. If you make Jade happy, then so be it, but don’t think I’m going to be happy watching you guys make out by the lake.”

“Pete! What in the hell is going on? What do you mean by earlier?”

“What, Hank didn’t tell you? Shocking. He came up to me earlier asking for my approval for your relationship. I told him that I think you are too good for him and he doesn’t deserve you, but that’s not my decision to make.”

Jade didn’t know what to say. She felt flattered and furious at the same time. She decided that furious was the way she should take this right now.

“Wow. First of all, Hank, I don’t need anyone’s damn permission to see anyone. If you have something to say, you can say it to me. Secondly, I don’t know what you are so hot and bothered about, Pete. It’s not like any of this really matters to you anyway, especially since you have little miss thang over here to keep you company now.” Jade was getting angrier. “Don’t you ever say those things to me or Hank again. You have no right to judge me or him. Stop being such an ass.”

Jade stormed off, leaving everyone at the lake. She hung out by the campfire with the rest of the campers until bedtime was announced. Begrudgingly, she walked into her cabin. Brittany and Lizzy stared at her as she walked to her bed. Pete wasn’t there yet. “Probably busy making out at the lake. Ass hat.” She climbed into bed and fell asleep. She woke up during the night and rolled over to see Pete’s large body in the bed next to hers. She felt a smile creep across her face and a wave of relief as she knew that he was safe.

The next few days carried on in a similar way as the first. Jade received multiple threats to stay away from Pete. Pete continued to ignore Jade and she did the same. They only spoke to each other when they had to. Brittany, Heather, and Lizzy spread around a bunch of rumors that there was a love triangle going on between Pete, Jade, and Michelle, which really pissed Jade and Hank off equally. Pete seemed oblivious to the gossip while Michelle was feeding it. Soon enough, Jade felt like she couldn’t walk into a room or activity without everyone whispering about her.

On the second to last day before camp was over, Jade was making her way back from a hike with Hank, Tom, and Aiden, all three of whom got along famously, when Michelle asked to speak with her.

“What is it, Michelle?”

“Pete’s been a really shitty mood since this camp started. You need to stay the hell away from him. For good.”

“What are you even going on about? What do you think I have been doing? I haven’t said one damn thing to that ass clown since the first day we got here unless I’ve had to.”

“Well, don’t have to. Get lost. He’s my man and I won’t have him preoccupied with some basic bitch like you.”

“You know, Michelle, I don’t know what Pete sees in you. But from where I stand there’s only one basic bitch here, and that’s you. He’s probably in a shitty mood because you are trying to destroy his friendships and the things that make him happy.”

“I make him happy. Period. He doesn’t need you.”

“Maybe not. But I know he doesn’t need someone selfish like you around either. Do what you want, threaten me all you want, but the fact is Pete and I are forever. Our friendship is forever. We will get through this and anything else. So shove it up your ass and leave me alone.”

Jade stormed back to her cabin and grabbed a change of clothes. She headed to showers where she was happy to have a moment alone to quietly vent. After her shower and couple of tears, she got changed and headed out to the dining hall. She knew she was early, but she didn’t care. The less people around, the better.

As she entered the hall, she noticed Hank and Michelle standing in the back. As she looked on unnoticed, she noticed Michelle flipping her hair flirtatiously. Hank grabbed her hand.

“Holy shit! Holy shit! What in the actual…” Hank saw Jade and dropped Michelle’s hand. Michelle turned around and saw Jade. She had a panicked look on her face. Jade turned around and ran out of the dining hall and toward the lake.

“Shit! What do I tell Pete?!” She stopped to catch her breath. “I don’t think I can tell him anything. I don’t think he’d listen. Damn.

She sat down for a second to collect her thoughts, and as she did she heard footsteps behind her. “Babe. Babe, we need to talk.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. We’re over. You’re a liar. Leave me alone.”

“But, babe, it’s not—“

“It is. It most definitely is. I don’t know if you’ve been conspiring with Michelle this whole time or what, but I don’t care. It’s over. Leave. Now.”

Hank looked like he was about to cry. He stood there for a couple of seconds quietly and then when he realized that Jade was done talking, he left.  Jade stood up when she heard the dinner bell ringing. She slowly made her way back to the dining hall.

As she approached her cabin’s table, she noticed that Michelle was sitting in her seat, talking to Pete. Pete’s eyes were wide with attention as she spoke. Michelle had crocodile tears streaming down her face.  As Jade approached, Michelle looked at Jade, let out a sob, and ran away. Pete looked confused. Jade sat down and tried not to make eye contact.

“Don’t you have something to tell me?”

“Nope.” Jade ultimately decided on her way back that it was best not to tell Pete about Michelle and Hank until camp was over.

“Michelle said that you may have seen something that could’ve been misconstrued as her cheating.”

“Shit. I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.” “Michelle and Hank were holding hands in the back of the dining hall earlier. I caught her flirting and flipping her hair all over the place before I ran out.” Jade still did not establish eye contact.

“Michelle said that they were just talking.”

“Looked like more than talking.”

“Well, what do you know?” Pete sounded both confused and exasperated.

“Apparently nothing these days.” Pete looked at Jade surprised as she got up from the table and headed for the door. Brittany and Heather stopped chatting to observe what was happening.

One of the counsellors stopped Jade at the door and asked her where she was going. “I just really need to go to the restroom.” She walked out the door and headed for her cabin where she grabbed her sleeping bag off her bed, a few snacks, and a flashlight. She headed out to the lake and laid down her sleeping bag to watch the sunset. After snacking on a few things, she noticed it was starting to get dark. She couldn’t leave, though. She loved hearing the water lap on the shore and the feel of the slight breeze as it hit her face gently. She loved feeling the loose strands of hair whirl around her face. She could smell burning wood of the campfire as she sat. For the first time the whole week, she felt peace and ease as she sat. She didn’t care anymore about whether Pete was dating Michelle, or whether Michelle was cheating on Pete. “If he’s not going to listen, why should I worry? He’ll figure it out and when he does I’ll be here.” She didn’t care about Hank. As she thought about it, she realized she never really cared about Hank. She liked the attention, but she didn’t care about him in a way that truly mattered.

As the dark grew darker, Jade heard the bell for lights out. She decided to wait about 15 more minutes until she started to head back. She figured she’d slip in while everyone was drifting to sleep. At this point, she was just enjoying the serenity that the night brought her.

As she lay on her sleeping bag, enjoying the night breeze and gazing at the stars above her, she heard heavy footsteps behind her. “Shit, I’ve been caught.” Jade started preparing all of the excuses for the counselor.  

“I thought I might find you out here.” It was Pete. Jade’s heart was beating wildly with anxiety.

“Oh. It’s you. Yea.”

“You stormed out of the dining hall and didn’t come back. I got worried.”

“Yep.”

“Look, Jade, I owe you an apology.” Pete rolled out his sleeping bag next to hers. She looked at him in shock. “I’ve been treating you like shit ever since we got here. You’re my best friend and I’m not treating you that way. I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK.”

“No, it’s not. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve always been there for you. Regardless of whether we were right or wrong, it never mattered as long as we stuck together. I forgot that, and I want you to know that I’m really sorry.”

“Thanks. I really treated you like shit too. I just got really jealous when I saw Michelle, you know? I was just afraid that she’d replace me and then you’d forget about me.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I dumped Michelle. Truth is, I heard what she told you earlier as you were coming back from your hike. She admitted that she had been threatening you all week and that she flirted with Hank just to break you guys up.”

“Well, she did me a favor where Hank was concerned. I never really liked him anyway. He made me laugh and I liked the attention, but I wasn’t really into him.”

Both of them sat silent for a few moments. Pete lay down on his sleeping bag. “So, we’re good?”

“Yea, we’re good.” Jade smiled. This was a good night.

After a few moments, she noticed Pete’s breathing getting heavier. She had heard this many times before when he slept over at her house or vice versa. The moon shined on his face. He looked peaceful as he slept. His skin was light and smooth. She had the urge to run her hand down the side of his face. His lips pouted a little. She lay down next time him so that her face was right next to his. She watched him sleep. Her heart felt more whole than it had in a long time. She missed him. She missed his smell. She missed looking at him. She missed the sound of his breathing and his voice.  She fell asleep with a smile on her face. During the night she awoke to his arm around her waist as they were cuddled up against each other. After a moment of blissful disbelief, she put her hand on his and fell back to sleep.

In the morning she felt him fidget and wake up. She could feel his breath on her cheek and she knew that he was watching her.

“Are you watching me sleep, creep-o?”

“Yea, something like that.” She could hear the smile in his voice. As she pondered this moment, she could feel his breath get warmer as he got closer. He kissed her cheek. Her eyes flew open. His kiss was so gentle and soft. It felt deliberate and it made her heart drop. She turned to face him. Their eyes met. He had the most gorgeous eyes. To anyone else they were brown, but when you looked at them closely as she had a few times, they were actually hazel. They had green on the outer rim with hazel inside. They were mesmerizingly gorgeous. She looked into his eyes as their lips touched. His kiss was comforting and warm. Her whole body tingled with excitement and glee. She could feel herself pressing into him as she went to kiss him again. It was as though she had waited a lifetime just for this moment, and with that feeling, she knew that she had been in love with Pete for a long, long time.



Monday, December 1, 2014

Natural Connection

I bought an art set at Michael's just to mess around with. Of course, my artistic talent is nothing to shout about, but i thought this wasn't half bad.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Monotonous Vision

The yellows, the pinks, the blues-- 
All of the lively hues 
Of our imaginations 

They dance silently 
As we color the world 
With our homely realisms 

Refusing to paint the sky, 
Paint it our own color, 
We live in black and white. 

Our words, actions, and beliefs 
They are high or low, hot or cold 
No greens, reds, or violets to be seen. 

Our eyes do not see color. 
Our ears do not hear music. 
Our feet do not dance. 

All the while our imaginations whispering 
"The yellows, the pinks, the blues-- 
Let me paint the world with MY hues."  

Monotonous Vision

The yellows, the pinks, the blues-- 
All of the lively hues 
Of our imaginations 

They dance silently 
As we color the world 
With our homely realisms 

Refusing to paint the sky, 
Paint it our own color, 
We live in black and white. 

Our words, actions, and beliefs 
They are high or low, hot or cold 
No greens, reds, or violets to be seen. 

Our eyes do not see color. 
Our ears do not hear music. 
Our feet do not dance. 

All the while our imaginations whispering 
"The yellows, the pinks, the blues-- 
Let me paint the world with MY hues."  

"Waking Up"

My heart is burning
With an unshakable yearning
To make a new discovery.

Through the branches and the willows,
I can see from my pillow
The light of something greater.

Awakening arises in me--
This is the day I can be
The one who makes
A new discovery.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

"The Crow and the Butterfly"

His apartment was a burnt orange, which was convenient since that was her favorite color. To her it was another piece of evidence that this was meant to be. His drum set sat in the left hand corner next to the door. The air smelled stale with a slight hint of the weed he loved so much.

She reached into her pocket to grab her phone. She put it on silent before arriving so she wouldn’t have to hear the angry buzzing of the incoming text messages she came to loathe so deeply. Luckily for her, though, there was no reception at his place and only one message to remind her why she was self-destructing- “Bitch.” Delete. Ah, the freedom. She threw the phone in her purse, which sat clumsily on his small round kitchen table.

His couch was rolled out into a bed with lumped up blankets, a glimpse of what the very near future had in store for them. He was sitting on the edge, staring at his TV with an intense look as his fingers danced across the buttons of his game controller. With a small string of curse words under his breath, he turned off his Xbox with his right hand and turned on the stereo with his left. Turning to her, he gave her that sexy, rugged smile that made her broken heart float.

He walked over, grabbed her, and pulled her close. He was so warm and she could feel every muscle in his body as she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes. His back was so strong for how small and thin he was. His size wasn’t something she was used to, but somehow it was perfect for her. She loved that she could wrap her arms around him so completely. Hell, she loved that she could wrap her whole body around him when he humped her brains out. Most importantly, though, she loved what his embrace conveyed. He was sturdy, reliable, and kind—everything she wasn’t used to, but everything she wanted. Knowing that she had him made her smile.

“Smoke?” It was the first word he said to her since she stepped foot in his apartment. He held the door open for her as they went outside. She reached in her back pocket and pulled out the Salems she just bought on her way there. She got one out. “Light?” Nodding, she put the cigarette on her lip. He held up the lighter and she inhaled. So free. Exhale. Or was she? She wasn’t a smoker. This wasn’t her. “No,” she thought. “This is me. This is the new, free, single me. I’ll never go back.” Content with her lie, she breathed in the mint-infused smoke. So smooth, so cool. Just like him.

“Paul’s coming over. He just texted.” She nodded as she looked over the banister of the deck. “Sounds good.” She shook off the ashes and smiled at him. “I guess that means we should probably fool around before he gets here.” She took a small breath as she leaned in. She kissed him. The sinful mixture of weed and cigarette was oddly comforting. She noticed his nose was cold from the winter air. She looked in his eyes and bit her lip as she looked away. He was her haven, her safe place from all of the furious encounters and hurtful words. She put out the cigarette and left it on the pile on the banister. Grabbing his hand, they went inside.

They started kissing. Her head was racing. She was free. No angry messages. Luke didn’t even know where she was or who she was with or what she was doing. She’d get a flood of heart-wrenching messages once she got reception, though. Panic swept her. “No. I can’t think about that. Tonight I’m free. New life. I can just let go,” she thought. As another wave of denial set in like morphine for her heart, she felt herself get back in the moment. She felt the warmth of his lips against hers. She was able to ignore what all of the signs were telling her—she wasn’t free. She was trapped in a self-induced cycle of heartache.

Friday, April 27, 2012

My Amusing Attempt at Drawing ('Sittin on the Dock of the Bay")

If you know me, you know that I am awful at drawing. This picture may be extremely simplistic and awful to you; however, I am extremely proud that I was able to exhibit this much talent. So, prepare to laugh away...